


broken without your love

by deanello



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Cheating, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Infidelity, M/M, Oral Sex, PWP, slight praise kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:44:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanello/pseuds/deanello
Summary: Naruto had spent most of his adolescence chasing Sasuke. There were times when he was so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed, his heart hurt all the time at the loss of his friend. Once he was finally back he thought that things would be great, this ache that carved a hole in his chest would finally be filled and everyone could live happily ever after. But it was never enough, not when he brought Sasuke back, not when he got married to Hinata, not even when he became Hokage. He still felt like a starved man, more hollow now than ever, chasing something that at this point he couldn’t even name.





	1. kiss me like it’s the last time

He had missed dinner again, stacks of papers flooding his office. Naruto decided he would just spend the night at the Hokage office for the third night in a row, working until he couldn’t see straight. He was spending an increasing amounts of nights away from home, he hated facing his family with another excuse for being gone so often. It felt like he was wearing thin like a rag that was rung out to many times, his old energy and perseverance was becoming so hard to hold onto.

Mostly everyone in the building had gone home expect for a few Anbu who were guarding the building. Sasuke had snuck in through the window without a sound, he had long ago told his guards to let Sasuke come in whenever he wanted. It was all very routine, late nights working and Sasuke stoping in to argue with him.

Naruto stood behind the desk with his hands spread on the table top. “ You won’t be going on this mission Sasuke, I have plenty of other ninja who can go.” Naruto’s mouth was down turned in a pout and his eyebrows arched dramatically in frustration. Sasuke glared at him “I’m the most qualified for the job, why won’t you let me go?.” He said as the walked around from his position in front of the desk, coming face to face with him. Naruto just shook his head no in reply, too tired to argue. 

Naruto knew that it was true, Sasuke was the most qualified for the mission. It would require someone extremely skilled and there was no one better than Sasuke, if anyone could handle it, it was him. The real problem was that it was an undercover mission, whoever he sent would likely be gone for months, possibly longer. 

Hadn’t Sasuke given enough of his time already? He was rarely around as it was, always off on missions. He had finally come back to the village, he would not send him away again on another long mission, he wanted more time. No, needed it like air in his lungs. Just knowing that Sasuke was close was enough to get him through each monotonous day. 

“Why do you care so much if I go?” Sasuke’s gaze was dark, his eyes assessing Naruto. He knew deep down it was for selfish reasons, every time Sasuke left the village it felt like that first time. He couldn’t bare it if he didn’t come back one day, hated risking Sasuke’s life on dangerous missions. His life was worth so much more to him. He liked having Sasuke in the village where he could feel his electric chakra and know that he was still above ground.

“You’ve been away too much, stay for a while and spend time with your family and friends here in the leaf.” Naruto pleaded, blue eyes turning almost gray with sadness. Sasuke took a step closer, moving into his personal space. “It’s never enough for you, I’m back in the village isn’t that satisfactory? What do you want from me?.” His words were laced with venom, but his eyebrows were knit together in confusion. 

Naruto had spent most of his adolescence chasing Sasuke. There were times when he was so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed, his heart hurt all the time at the loss of his friend. Once he was finally back he thought that things would be great, this ache that carved a hole in his chest would finally be filled and everyone could live happily ever after. But it was never enough, not when he brought Sasuke back, not when he got married to Hinata, not even when he became Hokage. He still felt like a starved man, more hollow now than ever, chasing something that at this point he couldn’t even name.

“I don’t know” He lamely replied, looking down at his desk. It should be enough, he had everything he ever dreamed of. Sasuke was back in the village, he was Hokage and they were both rasing families, he should be happy. Why wasn’t he happy? There was still this ache in his chest all the time and it intensified when Sasuke left. Even with the adoration of the whole village he often felt lonely and out of place. 

“Will it ever be enough?” Sasuke said to him with a calculating look. Naruto knew they weren’t just talking about the mission anymore. He looked up at Sasuke and wonder what would be enough, why couldn’t he just rid himself of these feeling! 

“No I don’t think so” Naruto’s voice was a cracked whisper. Sasuke stepped even closer, so close that Naruto could feel his breath on his face. Sasuke reached out and cupped his face tenderly his expression foreign, something like deep fondness? Naruto had never seen Sasuke look at anything like that, he looked like he wanted to pour himself into Naruto’s empty cracks and repair him. He bumped his forehead against Naruto’s, nuzzling his nose against the other. “Idiot, I can give you more if that’s what you want.” Sasukes tone was cool and even as he glanced at Naruto’s mouth. 

Narutos brain was frozen, yes, he would definitely like more of this, Sasuke touching him. Sasuke rarely touched him unless they were fighting, this gentle touch felt good. What did Sasuke mean by more? His touch was more that of a lover than a friend. Naruto has never considered Sasuke in a sexual manner, he was his friend and rival or maybe something that went deeper even, like a brother. Of course his bond with Sasuke was deeply profound, but he had always thought that it was because they were the incarnation of actual brothers. 

Something shifted in his brain, and he realized that it was possible he had always had feeling for Sasuke that were more than that, he had always know his infatuation was somewhat abnormal but chalked it up to the fact that he was an emotional person. They had both been outsiders as children and he related to Sasukes pain in ways no one else could, it just made sense that the bond they shared was so strong 

A chocked sound fell from his lips as he leaned into Sasukes palm like a touch starved animal. Sasuke closed the distance and pressed his lips to Naruto’s. The kiss was light, just a slow press of lips at first. Something deep inside of Naruto ached, and yet his stomach felt light and prickly. Sasuke took a small step back ending the kiss, looking to Naruto for his reaction. 

“Is this okay?” Sasuke asked him, sounding worried, like he was afraid he had misjudged the situation. His mouth was down turned in a deep frown. It wasn’t often that Sasuke let his emotions show through and it shocked Naruto. Sasuke was looking at him like he was something precious, something that he cherished. It rocked Naruto to his core, he felt like his brain had just been fried. How had he never realized this before? How much of an idiot was he? 

Naruto started hyperventilating, chest feeling tight with anxiety at the revelation. Maybe Sasuke was an imposter? There was no way he would be offering what he seemed to be offering. He could never lov-.. feel this way about Naruto. But no, this was the real Sasuke, Naruto could tell by the feeling of his chakra. Naruto’s mind was racing, trying to figure the situation out. Sasuke was married to Sakura, why was he kissing me? I’m married to Hinata, I shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t want this. 

“I’m sorry, maybe I should go.” Sasuke took another step back and Naruto’s body moved of its own accord stepping back into his space. NO! His mind was racing, he didn’t want Sasuke to go, he wasn’t sure where he wanted this to go but he wasn’t ready for it to be over. Acting on instinct he fisted the front of Sasuke’s shirt, and desperately pressed his mouth to Sasuke’s. 

Sasuke was frozen like a stone statue at first, stunned by his aggressive action, but he quickly reacted, cupping the back of Naruto’s head and pressing his lips firmly against Naruto’s. They kissed each other with a frenzied passion, like a couple of high schoolers. It wasn’t long before Sasuke was pressing his lips with more intent, he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, teeth tugging at Naruto’s bottom lip. Sasuke kissed with a confidence that Naruto had never experienced, Hinata was gentle and shy even after so many years of marriage. Sasuke kissed him with a fiery passion, he kissed like the world was ending. 

Sasuke parted his lips and ran his tounge along Naruto’s bottom lip making a cold shiver run up his spine. Sasuke’s tounge slipped between Naruto’s parted lips, he explored his mouth thoroughly, running his skillful tounge alongside his. Naruto slid his tounge into Sasukes mouth and he sucked on it in a lewdly sensual manner. Sasukes hand slid to his lower back and pulled the full length of his body against him. The press of Sasukes body against his was very unfamiliar, he was all hard angles and muscle and it excited him in ways he had never imagined. Naruto was holding onto Sasukes hips so tight he was afraid he might bruise him. His hands were shaking unforgivingly and his chest felt hot and tight. Sasuke pressed his hips firmly against his and Naruto thought he might pass out from the pleasure. 

He was already painfully hard from only kissing. He could feel the hard length of Sasuke pressing against him, knowing that Sasuke was just as arroused made his reaction even stronger. Everything with Sasuke was so intense, his body was responding in ways he had never experienced. Naruto let out a choaked moan as Sasuke grinded his hardness against his own in rhythmic bursts. Sasuke let out a deep growl in reaction to the delicious pressure, running his hand underneath his shirt to feel the expanse of his tan back. 

Sasuke broke away from Naruto’s lips and moved to kiss his neck, his breath was so ragged and uneaven. He kissed up the length of his long neck and to his ear, nipping and licking at it with care. Sasuke was very skilled with his mouth, just as he was with any task he took on and somehow that really wasn’t surprising. Naruto’s legs felt weak and his whole body was shaking with satisfaction, he felt like he might melt into a puddle on the ground.

Sasuke must have noticed because he pushed Naruto down onto his desk chair and quickly knelt between his legs. Naruto’s barely had time to process what was happening, Sasuke couldn’t possibly be doing what he thought he was? But the dark look of lust in his eyes told him otherwise as cleaver hands unbuttoned his pants. He sat up a little so Sasuke could pull them down along with his underwear around his ankles, fully exposing him. He was not wasting any time, it just like Sasuke to get right to business, he wasn’t the type to hesitate he always went out and got what he wanted. 

His cheeks were painted a faint coral as he looked up at Naruto through bedroom eyes. “What are y-you?” Naruto stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence, brain slowly turning to mush. “Just shut up.” Sasuke bit out the words though clenched teeth. He looked wild, hair messed up, almost like something in him was slowly breaking apart.

Sasuke took Naruto in his hand at the base and licked a stipe up the underside, stopping to lick back and forth across the tip. Naruto groaned deep in his chest. Sasuke’s eyes were wide and intent on watching Naruto, he looked desperate to soak in his reactions. Fuck, Sasuke was actually going to blow him, hell Hinata didn’t even like doing this and Sasuke looked at him like Naruto was doing him a favor or something. He felt a pang of guilt in his stomach at the memory of his wife, but was quickly distracted when Sasuke encapsulated him with his hot velvety smooth mouth, sucking hard up and down his length. 

“Fuckk..” he sighed out as Sasuke continued to work him at a steady pace. This definetly didn’t seem to be his first time, and he wasn’t sure at the moment how that made him feel, jealously? arousal? He was too distracted with the amazing skill with which Sasuke moved his mouth and hands to form coherent thoughts. Sasukes cheeks were now tinged bright red, his eyes were clenched tight, breath coming heavy through his nose. Naruto couldn’t help himself and reached out to cup his face, thumb ghosting along the lips encompassing him. Sasuke gave a choked moan, obviously trying to hold back, he seemed to be enjoying this almost more than Naruto was.

Naruto felt a little crazy, couldn’t stop his big mouth from babbling out how good it felt and how good Sasuke was, “So fucking good, Sasuke Nng..” which to his surprise seemed to encourage him even further. Naruto almost lost it when Sasuke reached into his own pants and started touching himself. He let his thumb fall closer to Sasukes mouth and then in alongside his dick, feeling the velvety skin of the inside of his cheek and the wide stretch of his lips around his fingers and cock. Sasuke down on his knees like that was the most erotic thing he had ever experienced, lips puffy and red and saliva messily dribbling from his mouth. Naruto rapidly uttered those words and more as he sucked him down. Sasuke was so painfully beautiful, but not in the same way as a pretty girl or a sunset, more like the beauty of lightning during a thunderstorm or the crash of the raging seas. He was ellectric fire, magnificent and deadly at the same time. 

“Your mouth feels so good, so perfect” he moaned, Sasuke seemed to really enjoy the praise. His eyebrows knotted together, and his mouth slowed. His lips went slack around him as he moaned, sending vibrations across his dick. His hand sped up slightly as he touched himself, Naruto stroked his face, in awe that Sasuke was enjoying this so much, Naruto wasn’t even touching him. His body tensed against Naruto and his eyes clenched shut as he let out a choked cry. His orgasm was powerful, his whole body shaking from the satisfaction of it. It was the most beautiful thing Naruto had ever seen, Sasukes face totally blissed out with white hot pleasure. He wanted to see that face every day, wanted to more actively participate in making Sasuke feel that good. 

His breathing slowly evened out and he picked back up his previously pace, sucking feverently up and down. Naruto knew he wasn’t going to last much longer after watching Sasuke come undone like that. The sounds he had made were stuck in his head on a loop, spurring him on closer to completion.

It was less than a minute before he felt the tension coiling in his belly like a red hot spring. He couldn’t hold on any longer, it felt so mind numbingly fantsastic. He tapped Sasuke on the shoulder in warning “I’m going to..ohhh” he cried as Sasuke sucked him down impossibly deeper hitting the back of his throat, his eyes watered from the emence pleasure. He came hard, spurting his sticky hot release down Sasuke’s throat. He felt Sasuke’s throat swallowing down each spurt of it, after he had downed every drop he licked at his slit, sucking the last oozing drops from his oversensitive tip. Once he was satisfied he looked up and met Naruto’s gaze, his mouth turned up in a slight smirk, apparently pleased with his work. 

Naruto’s heart clenched, and he reached out to once more hold Sasukes face between his hands. This man before him was precious, he never wanted to let go. Sasuke sat up climbed into his lap to stradle him, not even bothering to pull his pants back up. The two stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, and then collided back into each other. The pair crushed their lips together in a desperate kiss, hands running into each other’s hair and all over, unable to touch enough. Naruto could taste himself on Sasukes lips, slightly bitter and salty and he kissed him like it would be their last, a though crossed his mind that perhaps it would be their last. He felt a searing stab of pain in his chest and tried to just enjoy the moment for what it was, he could deal with the consequences later. 

Sasuke pulled himself away and abruptly stoop up, he straightened his clothes and tried to catch his breath. He turned around, facing away from Naruto “We will talk about this, but not tonight. Go home to your wife, we both need time to think about what this means for the future.” His voice was soft and lacked the usual confidence with which Sasuke usually spoke. He didn’t look back as he quickly exited through the window, leaving Naruto alone in his now eerily quiet office with only his thoughts. 

Naruto pulled his desheveled clothes back into order, his head fell against his desk. He couldn’t stop the hot tears from streaming down his face, he let out a choked sob. Things were a wreak before tonight, and now it was somehow impossibly worse, his life was crumbling around him. He felt guilt hitting him hard, he knew he had made a promise to Hinata that he could no longer keep. Like a damn breaking he cried and cried, letting all the built emotions flow freely. He thought about all the failures in his life and added his marriage to the list. He knew he would have to tell Hinata when he faced her, but would he beg for her to take him back or ask for a divorce? 

He knew it wasn’t even a question, he loved his wife but it was different from what he felt for Sasuke, he still didn’t fully understand it but his feelings for Sasuke were so much deeper than that. Maybe he didn’t even know what love really was. When Sasuke had kissed him it had felt like a piece of a puzzle clicking into place, and even if the man did not return his feeling it would not be fair to continue his marriage. After tonight their was no denying that he wanted Sasuke, needed him even, but he had been too focused on his goals to see it for what it really was in the past. He could figure out how to deal with these new feelings in time. His last thought as his heavy eyes closed was how he would talk to Hinata tomorrow and he drifted off to sleep.


	2. broken down to dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sasuke and I.. er well something happened between us last night and I don’t know what to do ” he rubbed his hands over his face, trying not to make eye contact with him. He hoped Shikamaru wouldn’t pry, Sasuke might be mad if he knew that Naruto was going around telling everyone about something so private.

Naruto woke up to the sun shinning through the blinds in his office. He stretched out in his chair, body stiff from sleeping slumped over his desk. He rubbed his eyes and blinked the sleep from them, memories of the night before flooded back and a feeling of anxiety and guilt overtook his emotions. Today he would have to face his wife, he tried to think of the right words, how could he say “Sasuke stopped by my office last night and gave me a blowjob. I’m thinking we should get a divorce because I realized I’m possibly in love with him” in a way that didn’t sound terrible? The answer was probably that their was no nice way to put it, he would have to just tell her. 

Naruto stood, stomach feeling queasy from the situation and also probably because he hadn’t eaten dinner last night. He tried to stop thinking, maybe the right words would come to him in the moment, and he took off in the direction of his home 

He had gone home, walked right through the front door with every intention of talking to Hinata about what had happened. When he walked in he smelled freshly made bread, she was busy in the kitchen already preparing dinner for which he hadn’t been home for in two months. Her face light up when he walked through the door, she hadn’t seen him in days and she was always so excited when he came home. She happily greeted him and kissed him on the cheek, he sat down at the kitchen table and she asked if he had eaten lunch. It was very routine, she made him a meal and he ate in silence mulling over what to say as he ate but nothing was right, how could he leave her like this? Could he really look her in the eyes and rip her heart out like that? Her bright eyes shinned as she spoke about her day happily as she worked. When he was done eating he thanked her for the meal and told her he had to get back to work.

He didn’t say a single word about Sasuke or the night before. He told himself it was because he couldn’t hurt her like that, needed more time to figure out how to explain it. He just couldn’t do it yet, maybe it was because he was selfish or maybe it was because he was a coward, or both, he felt like both. 

When he returned to his office it was late afternoon, he had spent most of the day training in the woods in a spot that no one would bother him. He was trying to release some emotional tension but really he spent most of the day sitting and staring off into space, unable to come up with any solid plans on what to do. He needed to talk this over with Sasuke, maybe he would know what to do. 

Talking with Sasuke brought up a whole new feeling of anxiety. Would Sasuke even want to talk about his feelings? He wanted to find out where things stood but at the same time he dreaded the possibility of rejection. He knew that they would definitely have to talk somehow even if it was hard to do. 

When he walked into his office Shikamaru was staring out the large window with a frown on his face. “Where have you been all day? The paperwork is pilling up around here” he sounded highly annoyed. He didn’t know what to say, he slumped down into his chair without a word. Shikamaru looked at him like he was expecting an explanation, hands on his hips. 

“Sasuke and I.. er well something happened between us last night and I don’t know what to do ” he rubbed his hands over his face, trying not to make eye contact with him. He hoped Shikamaru wouldn’t pry, Sasuke might be mad if he knew that Naruto was going around telling everyone about something so private. 

Shikamaru looked stunned, eyes wide and mouth hanging opened slightly. “Something happened between you and Sasuke..? Well that might explain why he was so eager for me to send him on a mission this morning” Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head nervously. “I sent him out since you weren’t in, I didn’t think you’d mind since it’s just a standard escort mission, he should be back in two days.” 

Naruto sat down in his chair and thunked his head down on his desk with a loud sigh of frustration. He had wanted to talk with Sasuke, this was serious and that jerk went off on a mission to avoid him. Now he would have to wait and deal with this stress from not knowing how things stood between them.

He had returned home that night to sleep, it was almost 2 in the morning and his family was sleeping soundly. He didn’t know if it was guilt that had made him wander home, or maybe he just wanted to have a few more peaceful nights before things came to an enevitable end. He slipped into the plush bed next to his sleeping wife, her face was so peaceful and he was filled with heavy guilt like a dull blade to the heart.

Short black hair swaying as he thrust into tight wet heat. He grasped the smooth expanse of slender milky white hips. His orgasm rushing up like a crashing wave. The ripple of muscles as the body beneath him clenched hard around him. The unbearable pleasure taking hold of him as the person moaned “Naruto! Yes right there!” And it was Sasukes voice that moaned his name, husky and sensual, making him jump back into consciousness.

Hinata was still sleeping when he opened his eyes, the sun had just begun to rise as he tip toed out of the room. He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, he looked like a complete wreck. His eyes were blood shot with dusky circles underneath. He felt like he might throw up, he closed his eyes unable to face himself any longer. He had dreamt of Sasuke while in bed next to his wife. He felt like he had hit rock bottom, Sasuke needed to get himself home fast so they could deal with this. It was going to be a very long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :)


	3. give me more but it’s not enough

The forest was dappled with vibrant colors, deep burgundy, yellow and orange stretching miles in every direction. It was dusk and the air was chilly enough for Sasuke to see his own breath. When he was a young child he loved to sit outside on a cold night and pretent he was using fireball Jutsu, exhaling as hard as he could to make a big puff of smoke. He smiled at the thought of himself as a young boy excitedly running up to his brother Itachi on a cold night to show him. He missed those days when he spent hours playing with his beloved brother and going home each night to a warm house and a home made meal on the table. He was just so tired of it all and his heart ached. 

It had been three days since “that” night with Naruto. He was trying his hardest not to think about it, but every time he closed his eyes the memories came flooding back. Three days, that was only one day past the allotted mission time. He had taken it slow, trying to stretch it out and prolong his enevitable return to the Leaf. It was easy to stretch it out for three days, but he couldn’t hold out much longer without a search party coming for him. He reasoned with himself, it was almost dark, wouldn’t it just be better for him to find an inn and spend the night? He could continue his journey back first thing in the morning when he was rested. Naruto always pestered him to be more cautions after all and he just needed a little more time to get his head together. 

Sasuke picked up the pace, making his way to an Inn that he had stayed at a few times during his travels. It was a little out of the way but he felt that he deserved a stay somewhere nicer than the average grimy motel. The place was small but immaculate, and that was something Sasuke certainly appreciated being a very orderly person. The staff didn’t try to make small talk when he checked in, that was always a bonus too. 

The room had a large futon with wine red colored blankets, the top was adorned with eight pillows of various sizes in accenting shades of red. There was a large picture window that showed a view of the surrounding woods, with thick cream colored curtains. It also included a small private bathroom with a soaking tub that he definetly planned to take advantage of. He plunked his small travel bag onto the floor beside the bed and let himself fall face first onto the pillowy surface.

He turned his head to the side to stare at a large painting that was hung on the wall. He squinted, it was a landscape painting of the Great Naruto Bridge. He turned his face back into the pillow and groaned in annoyance. What was he going to do? Things were bad enough back when Naruto didn’t know about his feelings. The day Naruto had gotten married was still in the top 5 worst days of his life, and he had experienced a lot of horrors. That day any shred of hope he had was crushed. He just didn’t think he could handle the rejection and pain after having a taste.

He didn’t let himself have any hope that things could workout between them, Naruto would reject him or he would pretent it didn’t happen but he could never return his feelings. Maybe he didn’t even realize that feeling were involved, maybe he thought it was strictly sexual. Naruto was the Hokage, he had appearances to keep up and a wife and children at home that he cared for, he could never love Sasuke back. Even if he somehow did share the same feelings he would never leave Hinata, and he was too honest to continue things behind her back. 

He wished he had never stepped forward and kissed him, opening his heart up to the enevitable pain and rejection. How could he face that idiot knowing that he at least wanted him on some level but would never choose him? What could he do to make this better? Maybe he could pretent it was a mistake, or that he was under some sort of influence. He didn’t think Naruto had even suspected before that night that he was gay, he was married to a woman after all. Not that he didn’t love Sakura, she was a wonderful mother and person, but it wasn’t like the kind of love you have for a lover. They were not married for love but convenience, and she was well aware of his sexuality and he suspected she knew about his feelings for Naruto although they had never discussed his feelings for Naruto explicitly but she was a very smart woman.

Sasuke did want Naruto sexually yes, but he wanted much more than that. If he was being honest he wanted everything, every last part of him. He wanted Naruto’s love and his attention and his complete and utter devotion.He felt an empty ache in his chest, it hurt now more than ever. He had denied it for so long, Naruto was annoying, and at first he didn’t even let him self consider his feelings in that way. Naruto was his rival, and he was his friend, the strongest bond he shared with another living human. 

When he left the village he began to realize the true nature of his feelings, it pained him to be so far away from Naruto and at first that angered him. It fueled the fire of his hatred and he pushed against Naruto’s attempts to bring him home. He pushed and pushed and yet Naruto never gave up, he never lost hope. Naruto was a bright beacon of light in the darkness, full of warmth and hope and in the end Sasuke gave in to his emotions, returning back to the village beaten physically and emotionally. Something broke inside him that day, like a rushing river he was overcome with adoration and love for Naruto, so much that he could no longer deny it. 

“Bang-Bang” Sasuke sat up, looking at the door. He had been lost in thought for a while, must be the housekeeping. “Come in” he shouted, not even bothering to get up as the door was unlocked. The door swung open upon his words, standing in the doorway was a disheveled looking Naruto. His hair was sticking up all over the place and his nose was red from the cold and he looked like he had been running for a while. 

“Sasuke you bastard!” He yelled as he stormed into the room, slamming the door behind him. He walked right up to the bed and gazed down at him for a moment. His eyes looked a little glazed and without warning he flipped Sasuke to his front and straddled him, fisting his shirt to pull him closer. “You left to avoid talking with me!” Naruto growled close enough that his nose almost touched his “you’ve been gone for three days, when were you planning on coming back? Or were you just going to avoid me forever?” 

There was a long silence after he spoke, his cheeks lighting up red in embarrassment. Sasukes mind was blank, what could he say? He was in fact avoiding Naruto, but what was he supposed to do, go home and act like everything was normal? “What was I supposed to do, watch you kiss your beloved wife on the cheek with the memory of myself on my knees for you? Because I can’t Naruto.” His words were laced with venom and he immediately wished he hadn’t spoken them. 

Naruto’s eyes were a deep shade of gray, like a storm cloud just before the rain. “I— “ he began and pressed his forehead against Sasukes. The air was filled with a thick tension “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do and how to work through this but I do know that I care about you and I don’t want this to end where it began.” He looked into Sasukes eyes for some sort of reaction. “Please, I will do anything, please don’t leave” he pleaded. 

Sasuke leaned in as if attached to Naruto by an invisible string and this time it was Naruto who closed the distance between them, reverently pressing his lips to Sasukes. Naruto kissed him with a desperation that was unlike anything he had experienced. He groaned loudly when Sasuke opened his mouth and let his tongue dart out and explore him. Sasuke gripped the curve of Naruto’s slim waist, trailing his hand just before the jut of his bottom. Naruto whined at the contact, grinding himself down onto Sasukes already budding erection. 

“Need to feel more of you, ple-ah-se!” Naruto panted again this ear, “need you everywhere.” Sasuke grunted in response, moving his hand down to grip the firm muscle of Naruto’s tight ass. The pair grinded together as Naruto hurriedly removed his own shirt and then Sasukes. “Want to spread you out and make you beg for me Naruto.” Sasukes tone was authoritative and husky. 

He flipped Naruto down onto the mattress, and began unbuttoning his pants, leaving his underwear on for now. He could smell Naruto’s heavy arrousal and see his length straining against his thin boxers. Sasuke kneeled in between Naruto’s spread legs, running his hand up his firm stomach and chest. He grazed over his nipple, pink little bud pebbling up as he moaned. “Does that feel good?” He asked as he moved his hand to run his fingers over the nipple, giving him a gentle squeeze and Naruto squirmed in pleasure. Sasuke leaned down and sucked the other nipple into his mouth, using his tongue to trace circles and bite down gently. 

“Fuc-k” Naruto let out a breathy groan. Sasuke moved one hand down to cup Naruto through his boxers. He ran his thumb under the head in circles and Naruto squirmed, trying to get more friction. “Please, c’mon Sasuke” Naruto begged, he was as impatient as ever. Sasuke drunk in the sight below him, Naruto needy and begging for him, sporting a wet spot of arousal on his underwear already. Sasuke pulled Naruto’s boxer off and his cock sprung heavily into his stomach. Naruto spread his legs wider, positioning his feet flat on the bed. “Touch me” Naruto practically whispered and blushed a bright tomato red. 

Sasuke growled and bent down to take Naruto into his mouth, not wasting any time to tease. He bobbed up and down, keeping his lips sucktioned firmly. He reached down to cup Naruto’s balls, then further down to stroke a exploratory finger over his tightly puckered entrance. He looked up to gauge Naruto’s reaction, his head was thrown back and eyes squeezed shut it pleasure. “This okay?” He hesitated but continued his movement when Naruto shook his head yes furiously. Sasuke stopped his motions to grab a small bottle of lube from his bag, checking to make sure that Naruto was alright with what he was doing. He wanted to take things slow, didn’t think Naruto had any experience in this particular field. He wanted to take Naruto apart with just his fingers and mouth for tonight. 

Sasuke slicked up a finger and pressed it to his entrance, sliding in easily. Naruto had his arm thrown over his face, making a chocking noise as Sasuke began to move in and out slowly, adding a second finger after a moment. He took Naruto back into his mouth and pressed his fingers in deeper, looking for the sensitive spot inside him. He carefully watched Naruto’s expressions and knew when he had found the right spot.

He started stroking it rhythmically with the up and down movements of his mouth. He watched as the pleasure started to build into something Naruto hadn’t experienced before. Naruto looked down at him, blush high on his cheeks and eyes wide in surprise. “That’s— feels better than I imagined, Oh!” He said, voice full of surprise. Sasuke hummed around him and continued, not loosing pace. 

Slowly Naruto’s body began to tense, his thigh muscles clenching tight around Sasukes head and hands desperately grasping at the sheets and Sasukes shaggy hair. Sasuke felt like an addict for Naruto’s pleasure, he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to make Naruto come more than he wanted to himself, felt like he needed it even. Sasuke looked up and locked eyes with Naruto, he knew he probably looked ridiculous, spit running down his chin, and hair in his face but he didn’t care anymore. He moaned loudly around Naruto length, fingers still working inside his tight slick entrance. 

He saw Naruto’s eyes roll back, and his whole body clench up, tightly wound and ready to explode. “Sasuke! Coming, Oh-h I’m coming, lov- ” Naruto’s words came spilling out as his orgasm hit and he didn’t have to time think about that last half word. Sasuke felt the spurts of hot fluid fill his throat and the tight contractions of Naruto around his fingers. 

After he had finished Naruto looked down and stroked his face, running his thumb over his puffy lips “come up here, take your pants off” he instructed Sasuke and moved him to sit on his chest, his weaping errection just inches from Naruto’s face. Naruto hurredly took him into his mouth, grasping his hips to push him all the way inside. Just the sight of Naruto’s mouth filled with him was almost enough to set him over the edge. He chocked back a moan as Naruto stared sucking him fast and sloppy. His mouth was so wet and silky smooth, it was so good he knew he wouldn’t last, didn’t want to anyways. He wanted to shoot his orgasm into Naruto’s hot mouth and watch his throat clench around him, swollowing every last drop. It was that thought that sent him over the edge “Naruto!” He cried as he came so hard his vision whited out and Naruto had swallowed all of him, licking the last oozing drops from his oversensative slit, the sight was incredibly filthy and erotic and Sasuke couldn’t pull his eyes away. 

Naruto pulled Sasuke down into a firm embrace and the two laid together, time standing still as they listened to nothing but the sound of their hearts beating in sync.


	4. do I deserve your love

They spent the night in each others arms but in the morning Naruto woke to the sight of Sasuke packing his bag. Daylight hadn’t even broken and he didn’t think Sasuke had any intention of waking him before leaving. There was a thick tension between them, neither man knowing exactly what to say. They got ready in silence and made the trip back to the village, Sasuke staying a few paces in front of Naruto as the journey stretched out in awkward silence, neither person wanting to be the first to break the silence. Usually Naruto would be talking nonstop it was unlike him to be so quiet and it made Sasukes heart sink. 

Sasuke had enjoyed the night he had spent with Naruto but he knew that he would have to end things when they returned. Things weren’t meant to be like this, he wasn’t meant to live happily ever after with Naruto like some sort of childish fantasy, no- he had accepted his fate a long time ago. But even if he had told himself he wouldn’t, he had hoped that maybe Naruto would want to be with him. He wished Naruto had woken up and pulled him close and told him that he could never let him go. Things hadn’t played out like that, and he wasn’t going to force it.

He went straight home when they got back to the village, it was mid afternoon and Sakura was doing dishes in the kitchen when he walked in and Sarada was at school. He had been spending more time at home, trying to have a better relationship with his daughter but it was not often that he spent time home when she was gone. Sakura greeted him when he walked in, turning her head to look at him in surprise when he sat down at the table. He sighed loudly in response, resting a hand under his chin to support his weary head.

Sakura dried her hands on her apron and sat down across from him. “Sasuke, what’s happened?” She questioned him, her tone sympathetic. Where they really doing this? He sighed again and decided that yes, it was okay for him to tell her about it, she had a way of understanding things. So he looked her square in the eyes and said it “I slept with Naruto.” He exhaled, feeling a little lighter from the admittance than he had in years. 

Sakura’s eyebrows knotted together as she spoke, voice calm and soothing “Oh Sasuke sweetheart, have you told him how you feel?” 

“Tch obviously not, it wouldn’t end well.” Sasuke felt nauseous at the thought of confessing to Naruto and being rejected.

Sakura looked at him with a serious expression “The two of you need to talk this out. You can’t both just sulk around waiting for it to resolve itself! Listen to me, Naruto cares about you more than you can imagine and you both deserve to be happy.”

“Hn yeah right.” He spoke before he really had the chance to think, but when he said it he realized that yes actually he didn’t think he deserved to be happy. 

Sakura stood up and shook her head “I’m going to make us some tea and we are going to sit and figure this out.”

Sasuke told her the whole story from that first night in Naruto’s office until now as they drank their tea. As he spoke Sakura listened attentively and didn’t comment until he was through. 

“Listen Sasuke- from what you’ve told me it sounds like he has feelings for you too, he probably feels scared to talk to you. I know you’re concerned about his family but if he really does have these feelings for you it’s not fair to them for him to keep it a secret.” She sipped her tea inbetween statements letting her words sink in. “You may not believe it but you deserve to be happy, you may have made some bad decisions in the past but you are not a bad person. You deserve to be loved just as much as Naruto does.” 

He deserved to be loved. 

It had been a long time since he felt like he deserved to be loved by anyone and that wasn’t any different now. He knew people loved him, Sakura and Naruto loved him like a friend and Sasada loved him like a father.

But to love like a partner, husband, lover—

His heart beat faster at the thought of Naruto loving him. 

Staccato rhythm pounding loudly at the thought of coming home to him every night, having dinner together, sleeping side by side. 

Blood pumping faster thinking about Naruto turning over in his sleep, hands searching for him and pulling him close. 

He felt sick with guilt but he let himself imagine. A cozy little house, their children sitting around a table together as a family, kisses hello and goodbye, two matching gold rings. The images flashed before him, maybe—

Maybe all of that was worth the risk of rejection. If he didn’t put his feeling out in the open then he would never know if he had missed his chance. 

“I’ll talk with him” he said with resolution and he stood and went to his room to prepare.

~~~

When Naruto returned to the village he went directly home. He had made a decision. It was time to tell Hinata about his feelings for Sasuke. It didn’t matter if Sasuke returned his feeling or not, it was clear to him that his feeling would not change. It was wrong to continue on like everything was okay.

The conversation had somehow been more painful than he had imagined. Hinata had sat across from him at the kitchen table, looking at him with heartbroken eyes as he attempted to explain the situation. He had told her that Sasuke and him had been intamate twice, he didn’t go into detail but she didn’t seem highly surprised. She even addmited that long ago she had noticed the relationship between him and Sasuke was abnormal. 

She had told him that she didn’t want a divorce and that she could in time forgive him for his infidelity. He told her that he was in love with Sasuke, and she cried. He had never seen her look at him with such hurt, he knew that she cared for him deeply and he hated that he had caused her to feel like that. Watching her sobbing his heart felt like it had been crushed, he did love her and he told her that, but the love he had for Sasuke was different. He didn’t understand it all yet but it was something he needed to figure out, hopefully with Sasuke. She finally agreed that they should separate and for the time being he should move into the Hokage residence. He left not bothering to pack, wanting to leave before he cried in front of Hinata

Naruto made his way back to The Hokage tower, it was dinner time so the streets were mostly bare as people were at home with their families. The Hokage residence seemed especially lonely as he stepped inside and turned the light on. He decided to skip dinner, not really feeling like eating. The bed was comforting and he wrapped himself in the heavy blankets, pulling them up over his head.

He knew he needed to talk to Sasuke, he had actually intended to talk with him when he had brought him home from his mission. That was the purpose hunting him down in the first place, but when he had looked into Sasukes eyes he couldn’t stop himself. There was this hot buzzing electricity between them and it was intoxicating. It was so hard to talk about feelings but it felt so easy to touch Sasuke, felt so right and he wanted to drown in it like a big bowl of steaming hot ramen.

Naruto looked over at the window, motion outside catching his eye. It was a messenger bird, he stood up carrying the blankets with him like a cape and opened the large window. He took the note and read its hand written message:

“Naruto,   
Please meet me tomorrow at the address listed below. Looking forward to seeing you.   
-Sasuke”

He fell back into the bed, clutching the note and wondering what Sasuke would have to say. He closed his eyes and his mind raced through the different scenarios hoping for the best but thinking of the worst too, looks like he wouldn’t be getting much sleep.


	5. Everything with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you for taking the time to read my story. I’m sorry for not updating this story for so long! I’m planning on one more chapter after this one. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Naruto spent most of the night tossing and turning, his thoughts finally calming down enough for him to get an hour or two of rest. He had told Shikamaru to cancel all his appointments for the day. It had been months since he had a day off and it was far overdue so he didn’t questions it right off. Knowing Shikamaru, he probably already knew something was up. 

Naruto was awake early, he was never much of a morning person but he had no trouble getting out of bed this morning. He took his time getting ready, picking out an outfit that wasn’t work related was a task that he rarely faced. If he was being honest he wanted to look his best today, his stomach tangled in knots as the thought of the day ahead of him. 

Naruto thumbed through the few clothes that he had in the oversized closet of his room, he decided on a light sweater in his favorite shade of orange and black slacks that he knew hugged him in all the right places. He turned the shower on and began his usual morning rituals, taking extra time to spray on his good cologne and shave with extra care. He dressed in the outfit he had picked feeling fresh and clean. 

He looked at himself in the full length mirror that hung from his bathroom door. His hair was still a little wet and it looked messy from the length that had grown, it had been a while since he had it cut but he honestly always liked it on the longer side, even if Shikamaru insisted he looked more professional with a shorter cut. Naruto grabbed the small jar of pomade he had been given as a gift that had sat unused on the shelf, maybe he could spike his hair a bit. He took his time styling and when he was done he looked at himself in the mirror with satisfaction, he looked handsome and he felt momentarily confident. 

He was reminded of what he was getting ready for and he felt a sharp pang of uncertainty. He still wasn’t sure what Sasuke would have to say at their meeting but he knew what he needed to say. For so long he had been blind to his feelings for Sasuke, and now that he realized he knew he couldn’t wait another day even if the thought of telling him made him nauseous with fear of rejection. 

But there was another feeling too, something like hope that made his stomach fill with butterflies, light and airy. He imagined Sasuke loving him back, what would that be like? He wondered. His mind conjured up images of the pair dinning together over candlelight, bundles of roses and soft sweet kisses.

Then his mind wandered further, the scene morphed and it was the two of them back to back on the battlefield with adrenaline rushing through their veins like crashing thunder and they are so in sync that it’s like they can read each other thoughts. Ah- maybe it’s something that they have had all along, this electric chemistry. Naruto couldn’t help but imagine Sasuke taking him right on the battlefield in the wake of their victory. 

A loud knock startled him out of his fantasy. “Come in!” He shouted as he walked into the living area to greet his guest. 

“Naruto” Shikamaru regarded him with a nod of the head, “let’s sit, I brought breakfast” he held up the bag of takeaway and walked in past him to sit leisurely at the small kitchen table. It wasn’t uncommon for Shikamaru to visit, they had grown closer over the years and he was one of Naruto’s closest friends although he didn’t usually bring food with him. 

Naruto sat across from him as Shikamaru unpacked the takeaway containers, obviously attempting to avoid eye contact.“Woah! This looks great, itadakimasu!” He said as they dug in, the pair eating in companionable silence.

“So what’s up?” Naruto questioned, directing his gaze to his friend. Shikamaru shifted uncomfortable and rubbed the back of his neck “There is a rumor going around that you and Hinata have split up.” Naruto clenched his fists, how had word spread so quickly? This wasn’t something he needed spreading around the village right now. “I’ve done my best to quell the rumors for now but I need to know what’s been going on?” 

Naruto sighed heavily “What can I say? It’s true I’m leaving Hinata, I’ve already told her. I know it sounds terrible but I can’t stay with her anymore, it’s- there is someone else.” He trailed off, unsure of how much he should say.

“Who is this other person?” Shikamaru glanced at Naruto from across the table assessing him. Naruto rubbed his hands over his face and it spilled out of him “It’s Sasuke, We’ve- I’m in love with Sasuke.” He felt a little lighter with the admission. 

“I suspected as such” He leaned back in his chair “let’s start from the begging, tell me everything.” So Naruto rambled on about everything that had happened and about his scheduled meeting that day.

“Woah, man that’s a lot of heavy stuff right there” Shikamaru said after Naruto had told the story in full. “So your going to tell him today how you feel?” Naruto nodded in agreement but he couldn’t help the look of worry painted on his face. “Your afraid he doesn’t feel the same way?” Shikamaru said as he worked through what was happening “Your afraid of loosing him again?” 

Naruto shook his head, no that wasn’t it. He knew Sasuke had a lot of reasons to stick around now, he had Sakura and his daughter to think about. Honestly he didn’t blame Sasuke for leaving in the first place, the things that he endured at such a young age made him sick. The thought of Sasuke hurting like that made his stomach churn with dread. “It’s just- I’m afraid of hurting him. What if I can’t be what he needs? Sasuke has been to hell and back” He shook his head as he spoke.

“Naruto, look at me. You have loved Sasuke since you were a kid, you guys are like soulmates or something. Look at everything you’ve made it through, do you really think you couldn’t work through this too?” 

“It just doesn’t feel like enough! I feel like such a failure sometimes, there are so many ways I wish I could be better.” Naruto looked up with a familiar determination in his eyes “But I’m not giving up, I’m going to keep trying to become better. Today I’m going to tell Sasuke how I feel no matter what!” 

~

Naruto shut his front door and felt finality in his movements as he headed off to meet with Sasuke. He felt anxious, unsure of how exactly he would tell Sasuke how he was feeling because honestly it was hard to put into words. He loved Sasuke but that even didn’t seem like a strong enough word to describe it.

The address listed in Sasukes note was not one he recognized but it seemed to be residential and in a small village just outside of the leaf. The sun was shinning brightly between a light cover of clouds making it ideal weather for his short journey. He didn’t look back as he made his way to Sasuke.

After a short distance he made it to the village that looked to be made up of less than a dozen buildings. He spotted a few civilians, but for the most part it seemed that people were at work or indoors. There was a stone path that lead through the center of the sleepy village, he continued down it looking at each building carefully for the address. He came apon a larger structure that appeared to be an apartment building matching the address listed. The architecture was simple and looked to be almost ancient along with the rest of the village. 

Naruto opened the front door and began up the narrow stairs as the address was on the third floor. He had quickly assessed the building, 3 floors with 2 units on each floor. The address listed was floor 3 room B, he stood in front of the door looking at the faded marking telling him he was in the right spot. 

Two light knocks on the door and it was swinging open with a faint creak. Sasuke was standing in the doorway. Naruto couldn’t help but take in his appearance, he was wearing a dark purple long sleeved shirt and matching black slacks. His long sleek hair was tucked back and neatly combed so that his eyes were both visible. He looked stunning and beautiful in a unique way that only Sasuke could achieve. He silently gestured for him to come in, he closed the door behind him. 

“What is this place?” Naruto looked around the room, it was an apartment but it was barely furnished and didn’t look like it was being lived in. “This is one of my old hideouts, I figured it would be be best to talk somewhere private outside of the village.” The pair moved to sit on the couch that sat in the center of the living area. “How was the travel here? Hopefully you had no trouble finding it” Sasuke spoke carefully avoiding eye contact, Naruto couldn’t help but stare at the perfect man sitting right next to him. He didn’t want to sit and make awkward small talk. “Sasuke, look at me” He turned his head with a questioning look on his face. 

Naruto’s face was set with determination much like he was going into battle 

“Sasuke Uchiha, I’m in love with you.” 

There was a pause, Sasukes eyes widened at the sudden admittance. “ I’ve been so stupid and waisted so much time, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way but I need you to know how I feel.” He closed his eyes, trying to find the right words “ I can’t even describe how I feel, it’s like you’re part of me that I didn’t know existed and when your gone I feel like something has been ripped out of me. But it’s not just that kind of love, I love you like- you’re my family and I want that with you. I want to be your family and I want to wake up next to you and fight by your side and just- everything there is with you.” 

When Naruto looked up could swear he sees Sasuke swiftly wiping away a tear. 

“Me to, I’ve loved you for so long” Sasukes expression looked pained, face crumpling with emotion. 

Naruto reached out and embraced him, pressing against him and feeling Sasuke wrap his arms around him in return. After so many years the two fall together as one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read this, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated :)


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